Have you ever felt trapped by the expectations of others - like saying no simply isn’t an option? That feeling of not having a choice is at the heart of people-pleasing. This blog explores where this belief come from, and how can you start to break free from it

Do you find yourself constantly seeking reassurance from others? Worrying about how you’ll be perceived.? Approval-seeking is especially common among adults with ADHD.

If you’ve ever found yourself juggling other people’s needs while your own sit untouched on the sidelines, you might already know you’re a people-pleaser.

But what if those habits are so subtle that even you don’t see them?

There’s overt people-pleasing, the kind we can all spot, and then there’s covert people-pleasing, which is harder to pin down but just as exhausting. Knowing the difference is a game-changer for anyone ready to break free from putting others first all the time.

Many of us try really hard to keep others happy, but the reasons behind this can be different for each person. Two common reasons are social anxiety and low self-worth, and while they might look the same from the outside, what drives them is quite different.

People-pleasing might feel like it's keeping the peace, but over time, it can have serious consequences for your mental and physical health and you could be on a slipper slope to burnout.

Firstly, it’s important to move away from thinking of people-pleasing as just a fixed personality trait or ‘ just the way you are’. Instead, we should see it for what it truly is: a coping strategy.

People-pleasing is an ingenious coping mechanism that you likely developed in childhood to help meet certain needs or to protect yourself from perceived threats.

Here are 3 key reasons why you may have developed this coping strategy

If you’re asking yourself, ‘why can’t I stop people-pleasing?’ It’s because unfortunately, it's not easy! People-pleasing often stems from deeper issues which is why I encourage people-pleasers to engage in a therapy approach focused on addressing the root cause rather than teaching you ways to 'manage' how it feels. But, if accessing therapy isn’t possible, here are 6 ways to work towards stopping people-pleasing

It can be difficult to recognise when you might benefit from therapy, particularly if you’re someone who tends to prioritise others' needs over your own! This challenge is compounded by the common misconception things must be ‘bad enough’ before seeking support. In reality, therapy is most effective before a crisis hits, when you’re more capable of fully engaging in the process. Here are 10 signs that indicate therapy would be helpful.