Have you ever felt trapped by the expectations of others - like saying no simply isn’t an option? That feeling of not having a choice is at the heart of people-pleasing. This blog explores where this belief come from, and how can you start to break free from it

Do you find yourself constantly seeking reassurance from others? Worrying about how you’ll be perceived.? Approval-seeking is especially common among adults with ADHD.

If you’ve ever thought about therapy but stopped yourself from taking the step, you’re not alone.

So many people hold back, stuck in a loop of doubts, fears, and misconceptions. If you’ve ever wondered, "Is therapy really for me?" or "What if I’m not ‘bad enough’ for therapy?" or “What if the therapist thinks I’m weird?” this blog is for you.

Let’s explore some of the reasons people hesitate and how they might actually be keeping you from living the life you truly want.

Whether it’s agreeing to yet another work task, making time for that friend who only ever calls when they need something, or taking on family commitments that leave you feeling resentful and depleted, it’s exhausting. For those who have spent a lifetime putting others first, the idea of explicitly setting boundaries can make you feel sick with anxiety and like your body’s going into battle.

So, what does setting boundaries really mean? And why is it so hard, especially when you’ve been conditioned to people-please, avoid conflict, or seek approval at all costs?

Firstly, it’s important to move away from thinking of people-pleasing as just a fixed personality trait or ‘ just the way you are’. Instead, we should see it for what it truly is: a coping strategy.

People-pleasing is an ingenious coping mechanism that you likely developed in childhood to help meet certain needs or to protect yourself from perceived threats.

Here are 3 key reasons why you may have developed this coping strategy

If you’re asking yourself, ‘why can’t I stop people-pleasing?’ It’s because unfortunately, it's not easy! People-pleasing often stems from deeper issues which is why I encourage people-pleasers to engage in a therapy approach focused on addressing the root cause rather than teaching you ways to 'manage' how it feels. But, if accessing therapy isn’t possible, here are 6 ways to work towards stopping people-pleasing

It can be difficult to recognise when you might benefit from therapy, particularly if you’re someone who tends to prioritise others' needs over your own! This challenge is compounded by the common misconception things must be ‘bad enough’ before seeking support. In reality, therapy is most effective before a crisis hits, when you’re more capable of fully engaging in the process. Here are 10 signs that indicate therapy would be helpful.

Do you find yourself giving more to others than you get back, avoiding confrontation at all costs, or changing your personality to fit in? If so, you might be engaging in the fawn response. Understanding the fawn response can help you address the root cause of your people-pleasing tendencies and enable you to break free from the associated anxiety and low self-esteem, and embrace your authentic self