How Do I Know If I Need Therapy? What if I’m not ‘bad enough’ for therapy?

If you’ve ever thought about therapy but stopped yourself from taking the step, you’re not alone.

So many people hold back, stuck in a loop of doubts, fears, and misconceptions. If you’ve ever wondered, "Is therapy really for me?" or "What if I’m not ‘bad enough’ for therapy?" this blog is for you.

Let’s explore some of the reasons people hesitate and how they might actually be keeping you from living the life you truly want.

“I’m not in crisis” “it’s not that bad”

A lot of people think therapy is only for when life completely falls apart - when you can’t get out of bed and struggle to leave the house.

And maybe you’re managing to hold it together and go about daily life ok, but deep down you’re feeling anxious, exhausted, or stuck in patterns that don’t feel good.

It’s much more productive and helpful to access support BEFORE things get so bad you struggle to function.

Plus, waiting until you’re in crisis might actually make therapy harder. When you’re overwhelmed, you might not have the mental space to dig deeper, confront difficulties or process what's happening or make beneficial changes.

Therapy before crisis can be preventative. It can ensure you have helpful tools, strategies and insights so you’re prepared for the tough times and don’t have to navigate them alone.

“I don’t think my problems are big enough”

This one comes up a lot, especially for people-pleasers.

You might compare yourself to others and think, "Well, at least I’m not dealing with that," or “there’s people worse off than me” or “it’s not a big deal” as if your struggles don’t matter.

But the thing is, imagine if your friend or someone you love is struggling how you’re struggling. Imagine if they kept taking on too much, feeling anxious about difficult conversations, saying yes when they want to say no and overthinking conversations worrying people are upset with them….

Would you be saying to them “those things are bad enough for therapy'“?

or

Would you be reassuring them and encouraging them to seek some support?

Consider what you’d be saying to that friend or loved one in your shoes - I imagine you’d be helping them see how it might benefit them to talk to someone!

The truth is, therapy isn’t reserved for catastrophic problems.

It’s about understanding yourself, finding out what makes you tick and feel triggered, unpicking patterns that don’t serve you, and learning how to live authentically. If you’re someone who feels drained, stuck, or unsure of who you really are, those are more than enough reasons to reach out.

“What if my therapist judges me or thinks I’m weird?”

This fear often keeps people from even booking that first session.

Let me reassure you: a good therapist isn’t there to judge, they’re there to understand and help.

In all of my 15+ experience I can honestly say that I have never worked with someone whilst thinking they’re weird!

Whether you struggle to say no, over-apologise, feeling like you’re different and don’t belong or worry about what others think of you, therapy creates a space where you can unpack those feelings without shame.

In fact, chances are you’ll discover that what you think makes you “weird” is actually a completely natural human response to what you’ve been through.

“I’m scared therapy will change me in ways I won’t like”

This is a big one for people-pleasers.

Many worry, "If I stop people-pleasing, will I become selfish or mean?"

The answer is no.

Therapy doesn’t change the core of who you are, you can absolutely retain the positive qualities that make your th considerate person you are.

My approach is focused on helping you stop people-pleasing so you express your kindness and care in ways that are healthier and more balanced.

Imagine setting boundaries without guilt, saying no without overthinking, or doing nice things for people because you want to, not because you feel obligated or worried about the consequences if you don’t.

Therapy helps you keep the parts of you that feel genuine while letting go of the parts that leave you feeling resentful, drained, or underappreciated.

“Change feels scary - what if I’m not ready?”

Let’s be honest: change can feel terrifying.

Our brains and nervous systems are wired to find comfort in the familiar, even when the familiar isn’t working for us or is actually bad for us!

But therapy isn’t about flipping your life upside down overnight.

It’s about small, manageable shifts that add up to something transformative.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but the discomfort isn’t because you are doing anything wrong, it’s signalling change is occurring - for the better.

I always remember one of the women I worked with describing the discomfort as short term emotional pain for long-term whole-life gain!

My program to help you stop people-pleasing focuses on addressing the root cause of your difficulties and utilising evidence-based strategies to help reduce the discomfort and widen your window of what you feel able to tolerate, whilst you develop new healthier habits for long-term benefits - like feeling more confident at your core, be more authentic, and feel more in control of your life (in a healthy way!).

“I don’t even know what I’d talk about” “How do I know what I need Therapy for?’

This is not uncommon!

Many people hesitate to start therapy because they don’t have a clear goal in mind or they just don’t know where to start or what they ‘should’ say when talking to a therapist.

Maybe you just feel off, disconnected, or unsure of where to start.

Please know that’s okay!

Therapy isn’t about showing up with all the answers - it’s about working together to find them. If you’re unsure, ask yourself this: “How don’t I want things to be?”

That question alone can help you start imagining the future you want.

When you have an initial call with me, I help guide the conversation if you don’t know what to say and tell you how my approach can help with what you are going through - I don’t expect you to have the answers.

How can Therapy or Counselling help me?

So, what happens when you take that step into therapy?

Let me show you how it could change your life. These aren’t vague promises; they’re real, tangible shifts you can notice in your daily life - changes that ripple out and touch every area of who you are and how you show up.

No More Over-Apologising

Imagine a version of you that doesn’t feel the need to apologise for taking up space or saying no.

Therapy helps you spot those automatic “sorrys” and gives you tools to stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault.

Feeling Confident in Decisions

Instead of second-guessing yourself or seeking reassurance from everyone before you decide what you want to do, you’ll trust your own judgment.

Therapy helps you break the habit of overanalysing every “what if” so you can make decisions with clarity and confidence.

Authentic Connections

When you stop suppressing your feelings or bending over backwards to avoid conflict, you no longer feel resentful or bitter towards others.

When you stop feeling like you have to shape-shift your personality or mask who you are you’ll create space for real, meaningful relationships.

Through my program you realise you were never “too much” and you are enough as you are.

This self-acceptance allows you to find your people, your tribe, those who genuinely value and celebrate the real you.

Healthy Boundaries

Therapy teaches you to say yes to yourself without guilt and anxiety.

Maybe it’s saying, “I’m going to read a book upstairs tonight” instead of watching Netflix with your partner - or asking for help instead of carrying the mental load of everything on your own.

You’ll feel lighter, more energised, and less resentful because you’re no longer running on empty.

Advocating for Yourself

That pay rise you’ve been hesitating to ask for because you feel sick at the thought of the conversation? Therapy helps you understand what is making it feel so intimidating and my approach gives you the practical strategies and with it the confidence, to go for it.

You’ll know how to speak up in meetings (without shaking at the thought) express your needs, and finally believe - and show - that your voice matters!

Freedom from Overthinking

Imagine a quiet mind - no more replaying conversations, rewriting texts ten times, or staying up at night worrying.

Therapy helps you break free from the spiral of overthinking, so you can actually relax and be present in your life without that constant mental chatter and rehearsal of saying the right thing.

You are more able to just ‘be’.

No More Compare-and-Despair or Approval-Seeking

You’ll stop looking for others to validate your choices or comparing yourself to people online.

Therapy helps you let go of worrying about what people think and start living for you.

Whether it’s choosing what to wear, what to post, or how to spend your time, you’ll feel free to make decisions based on your own needs and desires.

Knowing Who You Are

This is the biggest shift of all.

Therapy isn’t just about solving problems; it’s about rediscovering or uncovering your authentic self.

Through my signature approach to stopping people-pleasing, you’ll strip away years of conditioning and external expectations to uncover who you really are - living life on your terms, with confidence, ease, and joy.

The beauty of therapy is that these changes build on each other.

As you stop people-pleasing, you’ll have more energy for the things you truly value.

As you embrace your authentic self, your relationships deepen. A

nd as you start trusting yourself, you’ll feel a sense of freedom that filters into every part of your life. It’s not about becoming someone new; it’s about finally being the you that’s been there all along.

Still Not Sure If Therapy Is For You?

If fear of taking the first step is holding you back, or just being unsure about whether it’s needed or going to help, let me make it easier. I offer a free initial chat where we can talk about what’s on your mind, answer any questions, and see if working together feels right.

Seeking support doesn’t have to feel intimidating - it’s a partnership where your voice and needs are at the centre.

If you’ve ever wondered, "What if therapy could actually help?" let this be your sign to find out.

You don’t have to wait for a crisis. You don’t need to have all the answers.

My program is about discovering what’s possible and building the life you want, one step at a time!