Have you ever felt trapped by the expectations of others - like saying no simply isn’t an option? That feeling of not having a choice is at the heart of people-pleasing. This blog explores where this belief come from, and how can you start to break free from it

If you’ve ever found yourself juggling other people’s needs while your own sit untouched on the sidelines, you might already know you’re a people-pleaser.

But what if those habits are so subtle that even you don’t see them?

There’s overt people-pleasing, the kind we can all spot, and then there’s covert people-pleasing, which is harder to pin down but just as exhausting. Knowing the difference is a game-changer for anyone ready to break free from putting others first all the time.

People-pleasing, masking, and a lifelong feeling of being ‘too much’ or ‘difficult’ can all be deeply intertwined with the ADHD experience, particularly when you've spent years trying to fit into a world that doesn’t quite understand you.

Firstly, it’s important to move away from thinking of people-pleasing as just a fixed personality trait or ‘ just the way you are’. Instead, we should see it for what it truly is: a coping strategy.

People-pleasing is an ingenious coping mechanism that you likely developed in childhood to help meet certain needs or to protect yourself from perceived threats.

Here are 3 key reasons why you may have developed this coping strategy

If you’re asking yourself, ‘why can’t I stop people-pleasing?’ It’s because unfortunately, it's not easy! People-pleasing often stems from deeper issues which is why I encourage people-pleasers to engage in a therapy approach focused on addressing the root cause rather than teaching you ways to 'manage' how it feels. But, if accessing therapy isn’t possible, here are 6 ways to work towards stopping people-pleasing

Do you find yourself giving more to others than you get back, avoiding confrontation at all costs, or changing your personality to fit in? If so, you might be engaging in the fawn response. Understanding the fawn response can help you address the root cause of your people-pleasing tendencies and enable you to break free from the associated anxiety and low self-esteem, and embrace your authentic self