Is People-Pleasing Draining You? Here’s How to Stop Burnout
Have you found yourself constantly putting others first, despite feeling utterly exhausted and drained? If so, you’re not alone. People-pleasing and burnout are closely linked, and understanding this connection can help you break the cycle and start prioritising your well-being.
What is People-Pleasing?
People-pleasing is more than just being nice or helpful—it's a pattern of behaviour where you consistently put others’ needs above your own. This can mean saying yes when you really want to say no, going out of your way to avoid conflict, or bending over backwards to gain approval from others. While it may seem like you’re just being kind or easygoing, the reality is that people-pleasing often comes from a place of fear or insecurity, rooted in early experiences or learned coping strategies.
How People-Pleasing Leads to Burnout
People-pleasing might feel like it's keeping the peace, but over time, it can have serious consequences for your mental and physical health. Here’s how:
1. Constantly Saying Yes To People
When you’re always saying yes to others, you’re effectively saying no to yourself. Every time you agree to take on another task or favour, you’re adding to your already overflowing plate. This can lead to overwhelming stress as you struggle to meet everyone’s expectations, often at the expense of your own needs and desires. Over time, this can result in burnout, leaving you feeling exhausted, resentful, and completely depleted and shut down.
2. Neglecting Your Own Needs
People-pleasers tend to put their own needs on the back burner, often to the point where they forget what those needs even are. This constant self-neglect can take a toll on your well-being, as you’re not giving yourself the time and space you need to recharge. When you’re always focused on making others happy, you risk running on empty, which is a fast track to burnout.
3. Living in a State of High Alert
People-pleasing often comes with a heightened sense of vigilance, where you’re constantly scanning the environment for potential conflicts or disapproval. This can put your nervous system on high alert, making it hard to relax and feel safe. Living in this constant state of stress can wear you down over time, leading to emotional exhaustion and, eventually, burnout.
Breaking the Cycle: How to Prioritise Yourself
Understanding the link between people-pleasing and burnout is the first step in breaking the cycle. Here are a few ways to start prioritising yourself:
1. Learn to Say No
This might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to always saying yes, but learning to say no is crucial for protecting your energy. Start small—practice turning down minor requests or invitations that you’re not interested in. Remember, saying no to others is really about saying yes to yourself.
2. Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is about knowing your limits and communicating them to others. This could mean limiting the time you spend helping others, taking breaks when you need them, or simply speaking up when you feel overwhelmed. Boundaries are not about being selfish; think of it as helping you take care of yourself so that you can show up as your for others.
3. Reconnect with Your Needs
Take some time to reflect on what you need to feel happy and fulfilled. This might involve setting aside regular time for self-care, pursuing hobbies that bring you joy, or spending time with people who make you feel good. The more you prioritise your own needs, the less likely you are to experience burnout.
Preventing Burnout
Burnout is a serious issue that can have lasting effects on your health and well-being. If you recognise yourself in these descriptions, know that it’s never too late to make changes.
By understanding the connection between people-pleasing and burnout, and taking steps to prioritise yourself, you can break free from this exhausting cycle and start living a life that’s truly yours.
If you’re ready to take the first step towards overcoming people-pleasing and preventing burnout, don’t hesitate to reach out for a free initial call. Together, we can explore how I can help you reclaim your energy and start putting yourself first - without anxiety and guilt.
