Secret Signs of Anxiety
If you are someone who tends to put others before yourself, you might be so preoccupied with how they feel that you aren’t as in tune with your own feelings.
You are so used to suppressing and masking your emotions that it’s easy to overlook your own anxiety.
Here are 10 signs you can look out for to see if you are more anxious than you initially realise!
Laughter
You find yourself using nervous laughter to cover up how you really feel. You minimise your emotions, and people might mistake you as being ‘laid back’ and someone who ‘goes with the flow.’
Micromanaging Relationships
You try your best to control interactions within the relationship to reduce the chance of negative outcomes. You do what you can to ensure others are happy with you and to avoid feelings of rejection.
Hypervigilance
You are excessively aware of other people’s moods and behaviours and changes in how they feel. Consciously or not, you adjust yourself and how you come across based on what you pick up from the other person to keep the peace.
Reassurance-Seeking
You feel insecure if you don’t get reassurance from people. You might find yourself subtly seeking reassurance from someone if you think they are upset with you. For example, you might send them a general message to see how they respond. You find yourself talking things through with people before you make a decision.
Flattery
You use compliments excessively with the aim of getting them to see you as a likeable person or to appease them. You may find you give compliments and agree with things that don’t align with your true values or beliefs to gain favour or avoid negative reactions.
Chronic Apologising
You find yourself apologising throughout the day, even for things that you wouldn’t expect someone to apologise for. You might even find yourself saying sorry to people who hold a door open for you rather than saying thank you. ‘Sorry’ seems to be an automatic response that you say numerous times a day, and often you are not even aware of it.
Overcommitting
You find yourself saying you will do things for people even when you are already stretched thin or the thing you are being asked to do is an inconvenience. Usually, this is because you don’t want to let them down or you are more worried about the stress they are under than your own stress levels.
Perfectionism
You try to do everything as perfectly as you can. You set yourself unrealistically high standards to avoid criticism and to gain approval or validation from others.
Social Anxiety
You feel worried in the lead-up to socialising. You feel uneasy in social situations but mask it with overly accommodating behaviour. You find yourself shapeshifting who you really are to feel like you fit in with the group. You overthink your interactions after the event.
Inability to Relax
On the rare occasion you give yourself some ‘me’ time or find yourself with free time, you can’t sit and relax because you feel like you should be doing something ‘productive.’ It feels wrong to just ‘be’ and you can’t switch off.
If you’re thinking, ‘that’s me!’
You’re not alone. I’ve been there too, and I’ve worked with hundreds of people who could relate to each of these points!
As a former people-pleaser and experienced therapist, I’m dedicated to helping you address the root cause of your anxiety and increase your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You can free yourself from unhelpful people-pleasing tendencies, start saying no with confidence, and start living life more authentically. Contact me today to find out more or book straight in for a FREE initial call
