5 Common Myths about People-Pleasing: What You Need to Know

There are a lot of common misconceptions when it comes to people-pleasers and people-pleasing. Having been a people-pleaser and working with hundreds of people, here are 5 common myths debunked:

MYTH 1) People-pleasing is being nice and kind.

Reality: Being nice and kind is lovely, and the world would be a much nicer place if more people valued those qualities! However, people-pleasing is not solely about being kind; it often stems from a deeper need for approval, acceptance, and fear of conflict, which can lead to suppressing yourself, anxiety, unhealthy relationships, behaviours, and burnout.

MYTH 2) People-pleasers are weak.

Reality: Not at all! As a people-pleaser you are likely compassionate and caring and your ability to tune into what other people are thinking and feeling is like a super power! Your strength lies in your ability to prioritise others' needs, and as a people-pleaser you possess great levels of resilience and capacity for taking on lots of responsibilities. However, it's still essential for you to prioritise your own well-being and self-care to prevent burnout.

MYTH 3) People-pleasers are always happy and laid back.

Reality: Behind the constant ‘yes’, ‘I don’t mind’ ‘I’ll just go with the flow’ lies a lot of internal struggle. As a people-pleaser you probably experience anxiety, burnout, unhealthy relationship dynamics, feelings of resentment, and even uncertainty about who you really are. This stems from consistently suppressing and neglecting your own needs for others. It’s really not a very happy way to be.

MYTH 4) People-pleasing is just a phase.

Reality: Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Whilst people-pleasing isn’t a fixed personality trait, patterns of people-pleasing are often deeply ingrained, affecting how you think, feel, and behave and impacting various aspects of life, from relationships to work. It takes time but it is definitely possible to increase self-awareness, identify and address the root cause, to practice breaking free from these patterns.

MYTH 5) You can't change people-pleasing tendencies.

Reality: Absolutely not true! With the right support and tools, you can learn to overcome the root cause of people-pleasing, feel empowered to set boundaries, prioritise yourself, and have healthier and happier relationships. You can retain your positive qualities of kindness, empathy, and consideration for others and find balance and make space for yourself!

If you want to get to the root of your people-pleasing and learn how to become your authentic self, feel free to book in for a FREE initial call and we can have a chat about how I can help.